So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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