the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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