'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
