Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
