do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize