He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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