you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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