Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
