Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
