She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
