escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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