Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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