Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
