Non-Jews are for practice
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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