I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
