I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Damn victory sex feels great
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
