mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
