its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
