sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can you bring me the toilet please
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
