another moral hangover. fuck.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
