so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
