Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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