I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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