i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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