It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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