i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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