I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
