Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
