Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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