Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
