So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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