Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
