? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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