I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
