But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
