I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You did what with his pubic hair?
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