I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
