In the future we'll all be gay
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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