were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
