Please, let me fuck your mom
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
