i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
