i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
