Hey man sorry I got all grabby
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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