Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize