I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
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alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
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He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I could fuck to npr.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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