entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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