i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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