So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
