It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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