so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
