This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
