It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
