Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
