My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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