So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
