i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
