You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
