Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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