he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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