Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hippo gnu deer
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
