Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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