Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
