I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Quick, to the slutcave!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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